Photographs From Our Readers
This shot of a local sunset by reader Elke Blodgettt.
Hmm, wonder if we couldn't do this right here in St. Albert?
Pick a local landmark, like the grain elevator park, or ??
This would be an excellent way for the food bank to boost the stock on their shelves and a fun project too. (See video below.)
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With the weather we’ve experienced for the past couple of weeks, I know it’s hard to think that this as Fall. Or Autumn even.
But why is it that this is the only season of the year with more than one name?
Spring, Summer and Winter don’t have two names, so why does Fall? Or is that Autumn?
Lame explanation here.
If you go down to the woods today, you’re in for a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today, you’ll hardly believe your eyes.
That is if you see a buck mule deer and decide to try and pet it.
That’s what happened to one woman who wound up in the hospital after the buck attacked her.
It was no picnic.
At first it sounded like a very unusual request.
I mean what inmate in jail would ask the authorities to keep them in jail for an extra few months?
But that’s exactly what happened in one US jail this week.
You see, with winter coming on and a poor prospect of employment for a con, some inmates figured that jail wasn’t all that bad compared to being out on the street.
The sheriff wasn’t buying it though.
A few days back we told you about a cub scout who was threatened with reform school for taking a folding knife to school that had a fork and spoon on it.
Today’s yarn is even more incredible as it concerns a 17 year old Eagle Scout who kept a two inch bladed knife in his car on the school parking lot.
And if you guessed they suspended him for having a weapon you’d be right.
How much more paranoid can Americans be?
When you see that guy with the fancy set of wheels driving by, you can bet his testosterone level is sky high.
At least so says a study done in Montreal allowing young men to drive an old Toyota sedan versus a new Porsche 911.
One researcher likened men’s testosterone levels similar to a Peacock strutting around with his tail raised.
I may just laugh out loud when I next see a guy with a pimped set of wheels, thinking of that Peacock at the wheel.
Full story here.
Stelmach Address Residue Continues
MY NEW TRUCK
I bought a new Chevy Avalanche and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.
The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.
'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?' 'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the speakers.
Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Beethoven', I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, 'Beatles' I'd get one of their awesome songs.
Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.
I yelled, 'Ass Hole!'
Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and gentlemen, the Premier of Alberta."
Damn I love this truck!
For more information contact Duane @ 780-467-1763
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Alberta Seniors United Now (SUN)
From the “now I’ve heard everything” file comes this story from the UK.
It seems a farmer kept his cows in a barn and had been doing so for 30 years.
He had no power on his farm, and he like his cows spent much of the time in the dark when inside the house or barn.
But some animal lover hauled the poor farmer to court, for get this, “failing to meet the ‘psychological and ethological’ needs of a cow and calf.
While it sounds impossible at first, the future may have you seeing things on your morning bowl of corn flakes.
It seems that Kellogg’s has devised a way to burn their corporate logo on every single corn flake they put in the box.
Just what we need, eh folks? Advertising on our cereal.
Some days you have to wonder.
I suppose every parent tires of their children from time to time.
But one Mom in Louisiana decided she was tired of them permanently and sold them.
That’s right, sold.
And what she got in exchange was a bit surprising.
The cockatoo was nice, but she got cash over and above the bird.
But just how much cash?
The Premier's TV Broadcast: A Review
Well Ed, after listening to your much ballyhooed speech last night, I have to tell you it left me cold. Stone, dead, cold.
Actually that terminology could be used to describe your delivery too. Stone, dead, cold.
As usual, you looked like a man about as comfortable as a guy with a carrot up his butt, perched atop it on that chair.
It’s not so much what you said either. It’s more about what you didn’t say.
Oh, you had all the flowery, hopeful stuff, perhaps even partially penned by my old colleague Paul Stanway for you, but it inspired zero confidence in you.
You failed to address any of my main concerns, just like you failed to respond to the open letter I sent you back about a month ago on this site. (I did send you a copy via e-mail as well, but you ignored that one too.) It concerned utility deregulation if you want to search your files for it.
You see Ed, you skipped over all the things that are on Albertans' minds. And that sadly, shows just how out of touch you and your party are with the voters of Alberta.
I’m talking about utility costs that are killing us. Sky high and deregulated and a constant monthly burden on us all where “miscellaneous charges” by utility companies who gouge us every single month. They now far outweigh the cost of the gas, or electricity that they claim costs them so much to deliver to our homes.
And what about health care Ed? You claimed we should be more worried about doing nothing, than what we are doing in last night’s fable.
Let’s call a spade a spade shall we? Health care is being handled in a way that is alarming all Albertans. Do you have any idea why that is Ed? Let me tell you, since it is obvious to me you might not know.
You see Ed, when you appoint a minister who is rumoured to brag about a lack of education, (and really, that’s not so hard to believe by his actions), alarms bells go off in Albertans’ heads. And when that same minister continues to have that sneer on his face on TV, projecting disdain for the press and ultimately we voters, it wins you no friends.
Couple that with going outside the province, nay the country, to hire a foreigner to dismantle what is left of our health care system and the alarms begin to ring louder, especially when he hands out massive severance pay cheques as he purges people right and left. And then announce there is a nursing shortage and short months later says the opposite, leads us voters to believe the man doesn’t know what he is talking about.
Then of course, you threaten to close Alberta Hospital’s beds with no consultation with medical professionals and no thought to the consequences of releasing schizophrenics into the community or downloading the burden on families. Actions such as these darkens the picture yet again.
So you see Ed, you apparently either forgot, or never knew that real Albertans have real concerns and you could fix some of them in a hurry. Appoint a new health minister, fire the foreigner who is ruining our health care system and re-regulate the utility delivery system would be a start to regaining some respect and support from Alberta’s voters.
If you don’t show some immediate action on the real issues being discussed in coffee shops across the province, you might just as well hand in your resignation in Red Deer on November 7.
As for this 65 year old who voted Conservative all his life, this is good-bye Ed.
I’ve kind of taken a shine to those new kids on the block, the Wildrose Alliance. I can’t be bothered to try and vote Liberal because every time I hear that word, my mind screams, “Remember the NEP”. And Brian the bus driver and his tired old clan of NDPers hold no excitement for me either.
So can you do one last thing right and let us know where we can buy a Wildrose Alliance membership, Ed? It would be the one good thing you could do for all Albertans.
In addition to the Art Exhibit "Voices from Outside: Artists Against the Prison Industrial Complex", we have 3 days of award-winning films featuring internationally-supported political prisoners Mumia Abu Jamal, MOVE, the Angola 3 & the Animal Liberation Front (Oct. 19 & 21); a Restorative Justice Panel Discussion on Oct. 29 including new films on the Philadelphia Mural Arts Program & Thousand Kites' Prison Radio. The panel is still under development, so details (speaker bios) will be available soon - check http://www.edmontonsmallpress.ca/non2009b/ for updates.
* All PIC Programming at Stanley Milner Library (Theatre [T] & Edmonton Room [ER])
* Summary of Films/Events followed by Full Film/Exhibit Bios further below...
Oct. 16-31: ART EXHIBIT: VOICES FROM OUTSIDE: ARTISTS AGAINST THE PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX
Edmonton Room, Stanley Milner Library
by Justseeds Critical Resistance (see Artist Bio at bottom)
Mon, Oct. 19: SPOTLIGHT ON POLITICAL PRISONERS
at Stanley Milner Library (Theatre [T] & Edmonton Room [ER])
• 2pm (ER}: The Angola 3: Black Panthers & the Last Slave Plantation
• 6pm (T): MOVE
• 7:15 (T): In Prison My Whole Life (Mumia Abu Jamal)
Wed, Oct. 21: POLITICAL PRISONERS Con’t
at Stanley Milner Library, Edmonton Room
• 7pm: Behind the Mask (Animal Liberation Front)
Thur, Oct. 29: SPOTLIGHT ON RESTORATIVE JUSTICE
(All Oct. 29 events in the Edmonton Room)
• 2pm: Restorative Justice Panel Discussion with the John Howard Society (Provincial Office), the National Farmer's Union (prison farms), the Mediation and Restorative Justice Centre (MRJC) and more TBA
~ includes ~ Be The Change You Want to See (Edmonton John Howard Society Film)
• 6pm: Up the Ridge (Thousand Kites)
• 7:30: Concrete, Steel & Paint
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?
Do you yawn in your sleep?
Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?
Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.
The new Benz - Very different ... really different!
This is the new Mercedes Benz SCL600
That's not what is different about it.
Nor that ...
... and now for the 'really different' part:
No steering wheel; you drive it with a joystick. No pedals either. Can you drive with a joystick? Your kids and grandkids probably can.
The influence of video games in our lives has really arrived, wouldn't you say?
SCARY THOUGHT THAT NOW A 7-YEAR-OLD COULD STEAL YOUR CAR AND PROBABLY DRIVE IT BETTER THAN YOU.
The temperature in Harbin reaches forty below zero, both Fahrenheit and centigrade and stays below freezing nearly half the year. The city is actually further north than notoriously cold Vladivostok, Russia, just 300 miles away. So what does one do here every winter? Hold an outdoor festival, of course! Rather than suffer the cold, the residents of Harbin celebrate it, with an annual festival of snow and ice sculptures and competitions.
The ice festival, a few miles away from the snow festival is anything but dull and colorless. Crowds flocking to the entrance are greeted by dance music booming in the distance as if at an outdoor pop concert. And bright neon colors shine everywhere, buried within huge blocks of ice forming structures as high as thirty meters, such as this huge structure beyond the entryway. You can just make out people standing atop its blue and red stairway.
The Great Wall doubles as a long ice slide; just sit and go. You can pick up some serious speed and wipe out spectacularly at the bottom if you're wearing a slick coat but you won't go anywhere if you're wearing corduroy pants.
A view from atop that structure, looking back on a Russian-styled building and a mock Great Wall, both constructed out of ice. Making it to the top of this structure is an accomplishment in itself - imagine walking up a stairway of solid ice for two floors with no handrails. The yellow block wall on the right and the balconywork on the lower left are all ice, with no internal support structure - just lights.
An overview of the ice festival from atop the Great Wall of ice. It's like a Disney theme park, with multiple attractions and food hawkers and kids running around and people lined up for bathrooms. The only differences are that the temperature is about a hundred degrees colder than the typical Disney park and all the structures are made out of ice rather than plastic - and slipping and falling here doesn't result in tremendous lawsuits.
An entire ship constructed of ice, with passengers onboard. Though it might not be seaworthy, the ship would certainly float - after all, it's made of ice. Hundreds of years ago during the Manchu days of ice lantern art, the sculptures were lit only by candles.
IMPORTANT NOTICE OF MEETING TODAY
Wednesday Oct 14, 2009
The Come back of the Year!
1:30 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.
17 Perron St.
Interested in life (annuities) (and money matters), how to live within your fixed income, or learn about other options available to you?
Come and share with financial professionals John Kok and Larry Lukenchuk.
For more information contact the SUN office at 780-449-1816.
Well, we've all heard of cow mutilations, but how about a cow abduction?
A couple in Argentina caught the whole thing on video.
And yes, it is just a grainy and blurry as all the other videos people take.
The missus sounds convincing though.
Check it out here.
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
If I told you a guy’s house caught fire, would you believe he slept right through it?
The fire was so bad the roof collapsed.
And still he slept.
Firemen found him and woke him up in the smoldering wreckage.
Scholars have discovered a bit of a whoops in the Bible and it’s in the beginning of the book.
That’s in the beginning as in the first words of Genesis.
Turns out that God didn’t create the heavens and the earth after all. It was apparently already there.
All he did was create man and the animals.
A six-year-old boy who recently joined the cub scouts was all excited about his trusty newly issued pocket knife.
He was so excited he took it to school with him to use it to have his lunch.
You see the ends fold out to expose a fork and spoon like they do on those Swiss pocket knives.
But wait, the school deemed it a “weapon” and he now faces 45 days in reform school.
When will the USA stop seeing boogie men at every turn?
Find out how he fared here.
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with an arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Playing Tonight At LB’s Pub
Moosehead Beer Specials
Hosted by Mark Ammar and Noel (Big Cat) Mackenzie
Oct. 13th - Show #265 - Tom Jones and Yuji I Hara
Tom is a young blues guitarist vocalist that I met at the Blues on Whyte jams. Very laid back until it comes to performing. This young performer was a surprise to our ears and has captivated the blues on Whyte crowds on numerous occasions.
Yuji - is getting more and more play time with the biggest name blues acts in our area as a hired guitarist. Every time we have him as our guest, he is talked about for days. A true blues performer and just recently appeared with his band The Boogie Patrol at the Beaumont Blues Festival finishing their set to two encores from a very, very pleased crowd.
Yuji was born and raised in Osaka, Japan and moved from Japan to Edmonton in 2005. He has shared the stage with many great artists, Donald Ray Johnson (Grammy award winner), Lurrie Bell, Kenny "Blues Boss" Wayne (Juno award winner), Sunny Rhodes, Sam cockrell, Big Dave McLean, Maurice John Vaughn, Andrew 'Jr Boy'Jones, just to name a few.
If you’re a young woman and ride the train in Japan, you had better watch out.
It seems that groping women has become somewhat of a national sport.
There are even web sites dedicated to advising men how to grope and run without getting caught.
For the record, groping in Japan is the equivalent of “copping a feel” here.
Sad but true.
When school officials in the UK invited students to bring a pet to school one day, they never expected to see a dragon.
Especially not one that weighed nearly a ton.
You see “Dragon” is a 2,000 pound bull brought to school by young Tom.
School officials are wondering what’s next.
One never knows what the future might hold and this yarn proves my point.
Growing food to serve fresh right in your own kitchen is now a real possibility.
And fresh fish for dinner too.
How, you ask?
See the details here.
This one has to be a candidate for that “Believe it or not” book.
A British soldier serving in Iraq returned home to find he had contacted a lung disease.
Doctors immediately prescribed a transplant to save his life.
But the best of intentions went wrong when they gave him the lungs of a pack a day smoker who had cancer.
The poor chap is no longer with us.
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.
The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.
You can listen to the phone message by downloading the file here. (Be patient, it's a large file.)
Pretty much hits the nail on the head, non?
Your all heard of the good samaritans in a drive thru who were ahead of you and paid for your order too before they drove off, haven’t you?
Some of you may even have been on the receiving end of such a good deed.
But there’s a restaurant in Japan that has taken this type of thing a step further.
You see, when you go to dine, you get what the person before you ordered.
Every once in a while during our quest for believable headlines, we run across one that defies truth.
At least from the male point of view.
But according to some experts in the UK, that is apparently the case.
Oh the horror!
I’ve often though what a great job it would be to drive the Oscar Meyer wienermobile.
Think about it.
You’re free to roam the USA attending events and passing out promo material for the product.
You might say I’ve relished the job as I think it would be like a paid vacation to see that much of America.
This gal does too.
All right people. All those who have trouble using the remote control on your TV, hands up.
Hmmmmmm, that many eh?
Well not to feel bad, you’re not alone.
Even Prince Philip is perplexed by the things.
Read more here.
The Progress Club of St. Albert is our building sponsor. We have also received generous grants from Alberta Culture and Community Spirit, The City of St. Albert and a donation from NEXT Christian Community. More fund raisers and sponsorships are planned as we get closer to our opening date.
Our new centre is the result of years of saving and planning. It will stabilize costs and provide a flexible place for our staff, volunteers, individuals we support and families. We also plan to share our new home with other community groups.
Stay tuned for updates here.
Please help support this most worthy and wonderful group dedicated to inclusion and improving equal rights for all persons.
Tetrasomy 18p Canada
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends.
Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time - just he and his granddaughter.
One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her Grandfather.
'Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?'
'Oh yes, Papa' the girl replied, and do you know what? We didn't see a single dumb bastard, dip shit or horse's ass anywhere we went today!'
This is a fire rainbow - the rarest of all naturally occurring atmospheric phenomena. Clouds have to be cirrus, at least 20k feet in the air, with just the right amount of ice crystals and the sun has to hit the clouds at precisely 58 degrees.
I know it’s not unheard of for a guy to have been married more than once.
I’ve even heard of guys into their third marriage.
But four wives?
And all at the same time?
And it took two days to complete the ceremony?
The man’s a brute for punishment.
If you’re a fan of bacon folks, (and really now, who isn’t?) this is the site for you.
They feature the top 10 best bacon recipes including one killer potato soup dish with added bacon.
So get out that pound of bacon from the fridge and print out these yummy recipes.
Can you say “oink”?