31 January 2010

Reader Response Forum


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The Things That People Send Me

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Smiles From Our Readers
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A group of 40 year-old Norwegian buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner.

Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Svenson Nordic Smorgasbord restaurant because the waitresses there have low-cut blouses and nice breasts.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Svenson Nordic Smorgasbord because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Svenson Nordic Smorgasbord because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Svenson Nordic Smorgasbord because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Svenson Nordic Smorgasbord because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.


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WEBBITS . . .

A roundup of bits from the web:

* Woman arrested for calling 911 four times about her cell phone. Read more:

* 4 women avoid jail in penis-glue plot.
Read more:

* NYPD repeatedly arrests wrong man.
Read more:

* Man killed by dogs after saving them from death.
Read more:

* Sex-Change Costs Are Tax-Deductible, U.S. Court Rules. Read more:


nicole



Images Of Scotland

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Pay In Advance For Gas? No Way!

SINC SAYS:

During recent trips to both BC and the US with our motor home, we discovered that in many places you have to pay in advance for fuel.

Not only that, but many places limit the amount of fuel in a single purchase to $75.

While that is not an issue with most cars, $75 in a motor home will only get you a quarter tank. Many times I had to use three different credit cards at a single pump to fill the motor home from one quarter of a tank to full.

Be that as it may, some people just can’t seem to take it when asked to pay up front.

Such was the case with this guy.


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Fun With Food

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Extraordinary Places Around The World

Bardenas Reales - Navarra

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Breast Implants Latest Bomb Threat

SINC SAYS:

And now from our “It Had To Happen” department we bring you this yarn to keep you, er, abreast of the situation.

Constantly clamouring to find new ways to bring down airliners, Muslim doctors have now developed a new technique.

This one involves breast augmentation surgery where the implants are not silicone, but rather powerful explosives.

The object of the exercise being to get female suicide bombers onto aircraft with explosives virtually undetectable by body scanning equipment.

Will this obsession to kill never end?


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A Cartoon To Make You Smile

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Butchart Gardens In Winter

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Flock Of Starlings Look Like A Bird

SINC SAYS:

The starlings in this photo look amazingly like a single bird as they fly in the evening sky.

Starling in the UK seem to have a penchant for making illusions in the sky as the flock together.

The other photos with this tail, er tale, show various other shapes formed by the birds and is quite interesting.

How come we never see such things here with our sparrows or even blackbirds?

I guess they aren’t artistic.


mexitan

The Signs Of Africa

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Winters Best Forgotten

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Reader Response Forum


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Pictures From Our Readers Libraries

Hi Don,

As promised, here are a few pics from my flying days of shots taken around the Municipal Airport.  I will dig up some more in the next while for you.  Feel free to post as you see fit.

The final one might also be of interest, world’s largest helicopter, Russian MI-26.

Mark Fraser
St. Albert

SINC SAYS:

Ah yes Mark, those do indeed bring back a lot of memories for me. I landed at “The Muni” more times than I can count and it is nice to see it from above again. Thanks for sharing with our readers.

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SINC SAYS:

Our readers find the darndest things and this one comes all the way from Switzerland courtesy of Margaret Pahud. Thanks Margaret!

Don,

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960.

Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail!

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."


IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."


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Playing This Weekend At LB’s Pub


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LB's Orange

WEBBITS . . .

A roundup of bits from the web:

* Former stripper gets $100,000 in lawsuit: Blamed club for drunken wreck. Read more:

* Exploding Cigarette Causes Indonesian Man To Lose Six Teeth. Read More:

* Miley's 9-year-old sister launching a lingerie line for kids. Read more:

* Britain facing food crisis as world's soil 'vanishes in 60 years', Read more:

* 'Internet addiction' linked to depression, says study. Read more:


nicole



All New Pub Watch

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Plane Leaves Skid Marks On Florida Highway

SINC SAYS:

A man and his pregnant wife were flying along when the plane suddenly developed engine problems.

The wife was asleep and her hubby, the pilot has to wake her for the crash landing.

They were both able to walk away, but the plane left a skid mark on the highway.

I wonder if the event left skid marks anywhere else?


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Things You Don't See Everyday

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The Musings Of Maxine

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Talk About Being Knifed In The Back

SINC SAYS:

Suppose you were walking home from work and a mugger attacked you.

Suppose during the attack, the mugger plunged a knife into your back near your neck and spine.

And then suppose due to the trauma of the attack, you didn’t even notice the knife and you walked all the way home.

That’s exactly what happened to this woman in Moscow.

If you have a queasy stomach, you may not want to see the picture.


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Kids And Their Animals

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The Beauty Of Antartica

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Musophobia Scare Puts Woman In Hospital

SINC SAYS:

When a husband and wife break up, there is often some type of revenge extracted.

More commonly it has to do with the children, but this guy in Sweden took his revenge to another level.

You see, his Ex suffered from musophobia and he took a whole paper bag full of trouble to her apartment.

He stuffed the bag’s contents through the letter slot and she would up in the hospital.

What the heck is musophobia?


mexitan

Dr. Seuss For Adults

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Why Teachers Drink

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Reader Response Forum





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The Things That People Send Me

Too Much Technology:

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Smile For The Camera:


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An Invitation From The St. Albert Taxpayers Association:

Meet and Greet2

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The Stories Readers Send Me

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A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. he biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact....

"Rose .... Rose"
"Is that you Douglas"?
"Yes I've come back like we agreed"
"What's it like"
"Well, I get in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, Then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. Then next day starts all over again"
"Oh Douglas, you surely must be in heaven"
"Not exactly. I'm a rabbit in Saskatchewan."


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WEBBITS . . .

A roundup of bits from the web:

* A PARROT that tried to mate with a TV wildlife presenter has landed a government job. Read more:

* A WOMAN, 61, carrying her catheter bag chased a man out of her house after he stood over her bed with one of her bras on his head in a frightening midnight home invasion. Read more:

* For some folks, turning 50 can trigger a midlife crisis. But due to a cruel blow of nature, Zara Hartshorn is forced to deal with it at the tender age of 13. Though barely a teen, Zara has the appearance of a 50-year-old, something that saps her confidence just when most young people are striving for self-esteem. Read more:

* HYPNOTIST Paul McKenna has admitted using mind control techniques on a girlfriend - to make her like CURRY. Read more:

* A Spanish disco is tonight offering free "consolers" to the first 400 girls who pitch up at the door, and promises the lucky recipients they're "going to vibrate". Read more:


nicole

The Musings Of Maxine

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Three Cheetahs Spare Tiny Antelope's Life

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Hello little antelope, would you like to play with us?

Coming from three deadly cheetahs, it's the kind of invitation that's best refused - but amazingly, this impala escaped unscathed from its encounter.

Luckily for the youngster, it seems these three male cheetahs simply weren't hungry.

More photos and story here.


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Signs Of The Times

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I Am Cat And Sleep Where I Want

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New Female Sex Robot To Cost $7,000

SINC SAYS:

Fresh from our “Men Who Can’t Find A Woman” department comes this oddity out of, where else but Las Vegas.

Yes men, if you can’t find a partner on your own, this inventor is riding to your rescue with his latest creation.

Or is that he’ll have you riding a robot?

Seems to me that $7,000 is a fair bit to put out for a doll.

Whoops, there I go again using Freudian quips. “Put out”, get it?

Maybe me should just hire a hooker.

After all, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.


mexitan

All About Trains

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Weird Wedding Photos

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Christmas Tree UFO Spotted Over Dublin

SINC SAYS:

In keeping with our policy of missing nothing when it comes to UFOs, we present this yarn from Ireland.

As you are all aware from previous stories here, the UK department of defense abandoned their UFO investigative wing last year and th public is left to wonder just what these things are.

This is actually one of the clearest shots of a UFO I have seen.

But is it real?


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There, I Fixed It!

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Sears 1934 Catalogue Pages

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Reader Response Forum





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How Readers Can Help Improve St. Albert’s Place

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Over the past year and a half or so, many readers have asked how they might be able to help out with keeping St. Albert’s Place alive and well.

It does take a pile of work to keep this place going and although I do carry advertising, the rates are kept low and just about cover expenses for servers and computers. It also covers expenses like leases and cell modem rentals and cell phone/fax bills and all the other related little things that keep SAP new and refreshed on a daily basis.

It is a good question and I have thought about a few things that readers can do to assist the site and its continuation. Here are a few thoughts for readers to ponder and if you see one that would be easy for you to do, please take the suggestions to heart.

  • 1. Pictures - Almost everyone today has a digital camera and if you have them, you must take pictures. The trouble is, not many of them make our files. Oh, we have our share of folks who send us shots for publication and they know who they are. But there must be so many more shots people take that we don’t see. Pictures of people and places no matter where you live make this site so much better and we’d like to see more. Please?

  • 2. Reader Forum - In spite of repeated requests by readers to develop a real time forum here on SAP, the use is truly disappointing folks. Even the folks who encouraged me to set one up appear to have abandoned the forum altogether. It’s your forum. You asked for it and we responded. Our thanks to those of you who do use the forum, but far too few of you do. Here’s a hint: Use it or lose it if you know what I mean.

  • 3. Letter or comment submissions - Please don’t feel like you have to sit down and write a formal letter to respond to an issue raised here. Just a few brief comments will do and I run them right below the item you are commenting on, so they are timely and relevant to that story. If you want to let off steam, by all means do so, even anonymously if you wish. Space is not an issue here, so let ‘er fly! Either way, we used to get a lot more participation than we do now and we need more. I can’t write it all myself. Please?
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  • 4. A few of you out there have expressed a desire to pen your own views on local events or experiences and that is just excellent. The trouble is though, readers are filled with good intentions, but we rarely see the results. I know, I know, we’re all busy, but if something like this site is worth having, we all have to put in a little work to maintain it, don’t we?

  • 5. If you do submit items for publication, please, please, please, DO NOT TYPE IN CAPS. It goes against every principle of typography, is hard to read and most of all, it forces me to re-keyboard the entire submission to get it back to upper and lower case for publication. That’s time I really don’t have. So please remember, use upper and lower case only when typing items. My fingers thank you.


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About That Habitat Project In Akinsdale

Hi Don,

You and I agree on most things in regards to the issues that go on in this city, however on the topic of the “Habitat” project for Akinsdale I must disagree with you and the residents that are spearheading this so called revolt.

First off I notice that everyone opposed to this always starts with the disclaimer that they are not opposed to low cost housing and they all think that the “Habitat” concept is a great idea, but not just in their neighborhood?  They are also very careful to say it is not “Nimby”.  Well if it is not “Nimby” then what is it?
 
Well if not in Akinsdale, then where?  According to one local resident who was interviewed last night on CFRN regarding this, he stated what is wrong with expanding outwards with a project like this?  In other words he is supporting Urban sprawl, thus raising taxes for everyone to support the sprawl.  Is this not what we are all fighting against with organizations such as the St. Albert Taxpayers organization.
 
I know its not politically correct to say, but just for once I wish people would say that they just don’t want it in their backyards and for no other reason.  Don’t try to justify it by a bunch of smoke and mirrors such as it will be a safety concern due to higher traffic volumes or you are going to lose your green space.  I don’t believe that is an issue in St. Albert.  We have plenty of that.  Just come out and say that you don’t want these people there because you think that you (the residents of Akinsdale) are above them. St. Albert has a bad enough rep as elitist, we don't need to strengthen it further.

It is agreed that these apartments you speak of do have issues from time to time, show me an area of this city that does not have its issues. However it is not as bad as it is being perceived. How do I know this? I myself was a resident their at one point in time. There are many young families there who are trying to make a start in life who are just as hard working and law abiding as anyone else in the neighborhood.  Don, as you are well aware there are bad apples in every bunch, yet the residents of Akinsdale want to lump everyone in the same basket.

This City and the Akinsdale neighbourhood are being given an opportunity to provide some affordable housing to some people who need it, but which is often the case in St. Albert, a lot of people feel it is beneath them and these people should go somewhere else where they would fit in better. Well I ask, where exactly might that be? Why do you and the residents of Akinsdale feel this way? The way I understand the “Habitat” concept is that not just anyone is selected for these residences. It is people and families who have jobs and are hard working, who have no criminal records, who want to do well in their lives and be contributing members of society. These people are thoroughly screened before being accepted into the program. It is not a freebie. The project is not intended as, nor will it ever be a low rental complex. So I ask, what exactly is wrong with that?
 
Where do we draw the line Don? Where does it stop?  The residents of Akinsdale also share some responsibility here.  If their neighbourhood is as bad as they say with these unsavoury types, then do something about it. Be the eyes and ears for the police, join “Citizen’s Patrol” or “Neighbourhood Watch”‘ don’t just turn a blind eye then complain about it to the media. Are you trying to tell me that Akinsdale is the only neighbourhood in St. Albert that has had a drug house or drug dealer living down the street, not that it justifies it by any means, but it happens all throughout the city. Are you saying that Akinsdale is the only neighbourhood that has run down houses in its area? I seem to recall that for many years there was a residence that was condemned and boarded up by the Health Department and the city right across the street from the site of which we speak.

Part of the argument is that Akinsdale has it’s fair share of multi dwelling housing, what about Grandin? It has the highest percentage in all of St. Albert. Akinsdale is only 5th on that list according to information from the Gazette. So I guess that argument doesn’t wash then does it?

All I am saying is let’s give this proposal a chance to be heard and give it the fair shake that it deserves. If compromises need to be made, so be it, make adjustments to try and keep everyone happy. Do not condemn it just for the sake of doing it and saying that it is someone else’s problem. That in itself is a big reason why society is in the shape it is in right now, because no one cares about their neighbour anymore, it all seems to be about me, me, me. 

What a sad situation we have lead ourselves into and we are all to blame for it, myself included. But if we can start at some point to try and fix it, then all hope is not lost. This project I believe is a good way to start and help some people that need it, those people are our neighbours, our friends, our brothers and sisters.

Sincerely,

Mark Fraser
St. Albert


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Oilers Chuckle?
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Don,

I wonder if this could be adapted as an Edmonton Oiler joke?
 
Some years ago Newcastle United football team were doing very badly.  A potential spectator telephoned the ground and the following conversation ensued:
 
Potential spectator,  What time does the game start on Saturday?

Ticket sales representative, "What time can you get here?
 
Regards,

Norman
In the UK

SINC SAYS:

It sure could Norman, just change “the ground” to “Rexall Place” and it’s a done deal. Hehehe, even the Brits are knocking the Oilers! Thanks for the chuckles Norman and keep ‘em coming.

READER RESPONSE: So what do you think?

Will giving the Oilers a new arena at a cost of however many millions make them play better?

Geordie
St. Albert

SINC SAYS:

I don’t know about anyone else, but I gave up on hockey long ago. It’s not a sport anymore, it’s a business and if I lived in Edmonton I would not want a single dime of my tax money spent on an arena. Play better and Oilers in the same sentence appears to be an oxymoron right now. Winking


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No Swim Suits In The Lobby Please . . .

This clip isn’t in English folks, but it’s not hard to understand. Too funny!



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WEBBITS . . .

A roundup of bits from the web:

* LOS BANOS, Calif. (CBS) -- A hunter is recovering from non-life threatening injuries after being shot by his dog on Saturday.
Read more:

* BROWNSVILLE - Police say the parents of a 12 year-old girl forced her to live locked in a closet with no light and minimal contact with the outside world. Police say no one had a clue about the abuse, not neighbors or school officials, until the girl's brother spoke up. When police went to the family's home on the 400 block of Jo Ann Lane, they found the girl locked inside the closet.
Read more:

* It’s all the work of cheese-lover Prudence Staite, who has a huge appetite for turning everyday food into stunning works of art. Her past work includes replicas of famous paintings made entirely from jelly beans, busts of famous people, famous faces immortalized on pizzas and even life-size chocolate rooms, with solid chocolate fireplaces. But she's hungry for more food-based whittling. Lots more!
Read more:

* PARIS - Was an abandoned scrap of metal on the runway really the main culprit in the fiery crash of an Air France Concorde shortly after takeoff?
Read more:

* Despite living in a culture obsessed with physical flawlessness, most people in the U.S. have a relatively realistic perception of their own form and face—blemishes, bulges and all. About one to two percent of the population, however, suffers from a recognized psychological illness, known as body dysmorphic disorder (or BDD), which causes them to be preoccupied with physical defects that they think make them look repugnant. Such tendencies can lead some people to extreme and frequent plastic surgeries and even suicide.
Read more:



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Another Little "Thang" To Drive You Crazy!

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Can you make Daffy Duck land on the target?

Watch the wind!


nicole

Monopoly Gets A New Look

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For its 75th anniversary, Monopoly's getting a massive update, pitting brazen and new against proven and old: Circular board or quadrilateral? Cash currency or fake credit cards? This is the stuff of ruined relationships.

In the monopoly wars, I'm imagining there will be two camps, not four. there will be people who are OK with the circular board and the switch to digital currency, and people who are fine with neither—the purists and the pragmatists. There will be a middle ground in this fight, but it will be drenched in blood.

I think I might be one of the purists. I get that the new design makes a bit more sense, and that giving players credit cards is less trouble than managing a bank full of cash. But you know what would be even less trouble? A video game.

Monopoly Revolution will be out in Fall, for about $35. And don't worry—you'll still be able to find old-style boards, too.


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The illusional Drost Effect

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Things That Simply Fail

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What To Do When You’re Bored At Work

1. Swat a few Flies

2. Put them in the sun to dry for one hour.

3. Once they are dry, pick a pencil and paper. Let your imagination flow.

Here are a few examples:

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Inside This Old Garage . . .

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Cartoons To Make You Smile

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Booze The Choice Over Sex, Cars And Friends

SINC SAYS:

This tale from Down Under didn’t really surprise me, nor should it you.

When asked what they would rather give up than booze, the Auzzies held fast to the drink.

If you’ve ever watched those HDTV channel specials on the place, Australia seems to be seeped in dust and drier that a popcorn fart.

It’s little wonder they love their beer.


mexitan

Antique European Cars

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A Look At Animals

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Reader Response Forum





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Groundhog Day History

Groundhog Day, celebrated across the United States and Canada, on February 2, is purely a North American tradition. It is based on a belief that on this day (February 2) the groundhog, or woodchuck, comes out of hole after winter hibernation to look for its shadow. If the shadow is seen, it's a sunny day. And the groundhog foretells 'six more weeks of bad weather' and thus a lingering winter. But spring is coming if no shadow is seen because of clouds. The groundhog then behaves accordingly. It goes back into the hole if the weather turns bad, but stays above ground if spring is near.

Thus weather prediction or prognostication came as an integral feature of Groundhog Day tradition. This prediction owes its origin to the European tradition of Candlemas. There is an old European supposition that a sunny Candlemas day would lead the winter to last for 'another six weeks'. Also celebrated on February 2, the was used to commemorate the Purification of the Virgin Mary. Candles for sacred uses were blessed on this day. Gradually the traditions at this Candlemas came to associate with them different folklores. The German added the belief of an animal, initially a hedgehog, being frightened by his shadow on Candlemas would foretell that winter would last another six weeks. This belief was brought in America during the 18th Century by the German settlers. These settlers adopted the groundhog as their weather predictor.

The Groundhog Day came into being in North America during the late 1800s. Thanks to the combined effort of Clymer H. Freas, a newspaper editor, and W. Smith, an American Congressman and newspaper publisher. They organized and popularized a yearly festival in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, the State was populated predominantly by German settlers. The festival featured a groundhog named Punxsutawney Phil which used to foretell how long the winter would last. This very popular event is still being held and is called Groundhog Day.

There has been a concerted effort in popularizing and commercializing the Groundhog Day across the United States. Chuck Wood is The Committee for the commercialization of Groundhog Day's official mascot. The movie "Groundhog Day," has played a key role in popularizing the schedule of Events in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, on and around February 2. Apart from Pennsylvania, fascinating Groundhog Day events are also held in other states, especially, Nebraska, Tennessee, Georgia, Ohio, Arkansas, and California.

Groundhog Day is also very popular in Canada and Wiarton Willy is the Groundhog that is used to predict the length of winter although there are more ground hogs across the country.

What did your area Ground Hog predict today?


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Revolt Facing City Council Over Habitat Housing

The city is facing growing opposition from Akinsdale residents on any decision they might make on the future use of the property at 70 Arlington Drive.

The property is now green space and a welcome long time attraction of the neighbourhood and residents want to keep it that way.

The Protestant School District, who own the property, are trying to sell it to an Edmonton developer who wants to erect a 58 unit two-storey townhouse complex as a Habitat for Humanity project.

The community can certainly use more affordable housing, but at what cost to residents of Akinsdale? And with St. Albert ranking among the five richest cities in Canada, is this the right place for any Habitat project? Along with that richness comes the highest municipal taxes in the country, so why subject those in need of Habitat style housing to the pressures of a rich community with taxes and a cost of living well beyond their means?

The community already has a series of townhouse projects located along Akins Drive and it is no secret that they have had their fair share of problems with these private developments.

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Ask any police officer about the calls they get to that complex. Any Akinsdale resident that lives near those apartments can tell you stories about the conduct of people living there over the years. Ask the police about the drug dens that have been uncovered there. That area has an unsavoury reputation and Akinsdale residents fear that only more would follow with this new proposal.

Their fears are not unfounded and their wishes should be respected by council.

One Akinsdale resident told me that the mayor himself when asked on his walkabout campaigning for office prior to the last election, told him he would vote against any such use of the property. That resident is now not so sure about that promise after reading recent comments by the mayor, and he fears the mayor has had a change of heart. That of course is one man’s word against another, but the fact remains this council will create a lot of bad blood if this project is green lighted.

While the vast majority of opposition comes from Akinsdale residents, those who appear to be supporting the proposal are not residents of the neighbourhood.

Seems to me a council should be listening not to non resident do gooders, but rather the very people who will be most affected by such a project. Council would be better served to designate the property as single family residence only and divide it into lots like the rest of the area.

So gentle readers, what is your opinion? Please note poll requires you disclose whether or not you are an Akinsdale resident, so please be honest.


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One Good Story Reminds Reader Of Another

Don:

I saw the punch line to the God-Takes-Care-of-Me joke coming up Perron Street, but fortunately it reminded me of another one:

This woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, I'm doing fine, but I'm worried about my husband."

"Why's that?" asks the shrink.

"Well," says the woman, "my husband thinks he's a refrigerator!"

"OK," says the doc, "that's a little strange, but it seems like a harmless enough delusion..."

"True," says the woman. "The problem is, he sleeps with his mouth wide open

... AND THE LIGHT KEEPS ME AWAKE ALL NIGHT!"

David J Climenhaga
St. Albert

Visit David’s Blog

SINC SAYS:

That’s a good one David, but it reminded me of this video, sent in by an old friend Tim O’Rourke, now living in Chemainus BC.




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Never Underestimate An Old Codger

An elderly, white-haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young blonde at his side.

He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $10,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $50,000,” he said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque clears so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday morning to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon," he said..

On Monday morning, the jeweller 'phoned the old man and said "Sir, there's no money in that account."

"I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about my weekend!"

All Seniors Aren't Senile



nicole

WEBBITS . . .

A roundup of bits from the web:

* A 14-year-old girl's quick-thinking enabled her to escape serious injury after a shark lunged at her in waist-deep water at Oreti Beach, near Invercargill, last night.
Read more:

* A Queens teacher who collects a $100,000 salary for doing nothing spends time in a Department of Education "rubber room" working on his law practice and managing 12 real-estate properties worth an estimated $7.8 million, The Post found.
Read more:

* A Malaysian court has fined a man and a woman four buffaloes and a pig after they were found guilty of an extra-marital affair, a local report says.
Read more:

* The South African president, Jacob Zuma, is reported to have has fathered a 20th child with the daughter of a friend.
Read more:

* Washington (CNN) -- The last surviving U.S. veteran of World War I, former Cpl. Frank Buckles, turns 109 on Monday and is still hoping for a national memorial in Washington for his comrades.
Read more:



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Absolutely Brilliant Household Tip


Always keep several get well cards on the mantle . . .

So if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.



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Those Interesting Days Of Yore

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They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot. They "didn’t have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low

Sometimes in the old days, they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and “chew the fat”.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.


mexitan

The Italian Auction




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The Things That People Send Me

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Office Assistant

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A baby Kirk's dik-dik antelope stands on a desk in Tim Rowlands' office at Chester Zoo in northern England. Rowlands is the curator of mammals at the zoo. The antelope is being hand reared at the zoo after being rejected by its mother during the recent cold weather.

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Images Of Scotland

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Florida Of Old 1880 - 1903

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Meet The World’s Largest Dog

SINC SAYS:

I’ve seen some big dogs in my day, but George here takes the cake.

He’s a Blue Great Dane who lives in the UK and he’s a real handful.

There are lots of pictures with this story and they are worth a look.

I’d hate to even think about the dog food bill.

See pictures of him here.


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Best Of Aviation Pictures

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The Signs Of Africa

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Reader Response Forum





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Reader Questions City’s Status - Are We Dead?

Hi Don,

Today I am sad, for I have discovered I am living in Canada's largest cemetery.

St. Albert, population 57,719 (2006 census) is not listed in Canada's top 100 cities.

Saint- Jerome, Quebec, 57,920 is 49th, Granby, Quebec, 56,984 is 50th according to Stats Can (census 2006).

Matter of fact, St. Albert is not listed at all.

Morinville, Alberta, population 8007 is 222.

Is this a conspiracy by our present silly council to tax us to death knowing full well we have all been dead for the past three years and just don't know it yet?

Just curious.

Al Popil
St. Albert

SINC SAYS:

Wow Al, you may have uncovered the reason for all our woes. Council thinks we’re all dead and thus without feedback, they can do as they wish. Or something.



READER RESPONSE:

Hi Don,
 
Interesting two items in this morning’s "edition".

That is the heading "City Status - Are We Dead?"  and text by Al Popil. Physically we are still alive and well, but financially we are dead.
 
As an aside it is also noted in "Wikipedia" the following,  "St. Albert has placed in the top five of "most wealthy cities in Canada" based on average net income per citizen, since 2000."
 
Maybe, just maybe this is what silly council bases some decisions on.
 
The second item re: “The Small Library”,  maybe this is what the city should be looking at. The city would still have to go into a deficit for maybe creating seven branches and I have an idea where they could be located.
 
George Proulx
St. Albert

SINC SAYS:

Interesting observations George, thanks for bringing them forward.



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Videos From Our Readers

This is an amazing close call at an Irish Road Rally:




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WEBBITS . . .

A roundup of bits from the web:

* Donations for Haiti have poured in to the American Red Cross of Central Maryland from a range of sources. Nothing, though, has stood out like the coins and crumpled dollar bills that spilled from one envelope. That gift - $14.64 - came from the pockets of homeless people at a downtown Baltimore shelter. "We were all weepy-eyed," recalled Red Cross volunteer coordinator Bobbie Jones, who was at the front desk when the donation arrived.
Read more:

* ALBANY -- A cab driver and at least one passenger were treated for injuries this morning after a collision left the taxi upside down on State Street -- and vulnerable to a thief who reached into the car and swiped money, police said.
Read more:

* A German couple who wanted to homeschool their children have been granted political asylum in the US. Evangelical Christians have welcomed the decision, claiming that Germany was trying to "coerce ideological uniformity" through its ban on homeschooling.
Read more:

* Everyone knows that if a dog's ears are up and its tail is wagging vigorously, it is definitely pleased to see you. Now, scientists using a robot have found that the way dogs use their tails is more subtle than we thought and that dogs that wag them to the left may be more friendly.
Read more:

* A brazen car thief stole an NYPD highway patrol vehicle with a loaded shotgun inside this morning — and drove it all the way to La Guardia Airport — after a cop left it idling and unmanned while he got breakfast at a Bronx diner, authorities said.
Read more:


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The Very Best Of Photography

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Worried About Cow Abductions?

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SINC SAYS:

If you’ve been wondering about the number of cow abductions lately, and really folks, who hasn’t? the answer may lie here.


nicole

The World's Extraordinary Places

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Sears 1934 Catalogue Pages

Click on images to see larger versions of pages:




Women Trap Crook In Garden Shed

SINC SAYS:

You know that old saying about a woman scorned, don’t you?

Well, this lady was just plain pissed off when a crook was raiding her freezer that she kept in a garden shed.

She enlisted the aid of her neighbour lady and the pair of them locked the poor guy up in the shed and waited for the cops.

Did I mention she’s disabled?


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There, I Fixed It

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All About Trains

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A Visit To The World’s Smallest Library

SINC SAYS:

When you think library, you think high ceilings, large rooms and quiet.

Nothing could be further from the truth at this UK town’s new library.

You see, with the advent of the cell phone, those old British style red phone booths are siting unused and the folks bought one.

They then set it up as a library.

Believe it or not.


mexitan

Why Teachers Drink

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Winters Best Forgotten

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