Only The Irish!
Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What the hell you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies.
"It should be around your neck," says the Guard.
"I know," says Paddy "but I couldn't breathe".
An answer I can understand.
An American tourist asks an Irishman: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the Irishman replies: "If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the bloody boat."